biscuits

They declared me unfit to live

Said into that great void my soul’d be hurled

They wanted to know why I did what I did

Well sir I guess there’s just a meanness in this world

“Nebraska” by Bruce Springsteen

So I made biscuits, lots of biscuits.  After much trial and error, I will confidently share my new go-to recipe (all you have to do is wait a couple of days!).

bourbon pecan pie

And maybe Marlon Brando will be there by the fire

We’ll sit and talk of Hollywood and the good things there for hire

And the Astrodome and the first tepee

Marlon Brando, Pocahontas and me

Marlon Brando, Pocahontas and me

“Pocahontas” by Neil Young

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I hope everyone has a day full of gorging, naps, booze, and football. Be safe and I will see ya’ll next week.

Ingredients:

Enough pie dough to make one shell
3 large eggs
1 cup brown sugar
1 tablespoon vanilla
2/3 cup light corn syrup
¼ cup unsalted butter, melted
2 tablespoons bourbon (I prefer Basil Hayden)
½ teaspoon salt
2 cups pecans, toasted in a skillet or in the oven

Directions:

1.    Preheat oven to 350° F
2.    Put dough in pie tin
3.    In a large bowl, whisk eggs
4.    Add brown sugar and whisk
5.    Whisk in vanilla, corn syrup, butter, bourbon, and salt
6.    Fold in pecans
7.    Dump pecan mix into pie crust
8.    Bake pie for 45-55 minutes until set in the center

fast marinara

Please take a sweet

Come take a walk with me

We’ll sort it out

Back at my place, maybe

“A Quick One (While He’s Away)” by the Who

This stuff is good. Spaghetti, lasagna, pizza, you name it…

This marinara, as the name states, can be made in a New York minute. Start to finish, you can have this entire recipe completed in less than 15 minutes.

Crap, am I starting to sound like Rachel Ray? “Why make hamburger helper from the box when you could make your own hamburger helper in under 30 minutes, yum o!”

Or even worse…Sandra Lee? “Take a couple of cans of crap and sprinkle some crap on top and then pop in the microwave for 30 seconds and viola… crap!”

I think this has inspired me to do something very anti-fast food, barbecue anyone?

Ingredients:

28 oz can of whole tomatoes
1 onion, small chop
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 tablespoon dried basil
1 tablespoon dried oregano
¼ cup olive oil
Pinch of red pepper flakes
Salt and Pepper

Directions:

1.    Heat olive oil in a large sauce pan over medium-high heat
2.    Add onions, cook until translucent
3.    Add garlic, cook until fragrant, about one minute
4.    Add tomatoes, smash to desired consistency with a fork
5.    Add basil, oregano, and pepper flakes
6.    Season with salt and pepper
7.    Lower heat to a simmer, cook for 10 minutes

bagels

The Mississippi Delta was shining like a national guitar

I am following the river down the highway

Through the cradle of the civil war

I’m going to Graceland, Graceland, in Memphis Tennessee

I’m going to Graceland

“Graceland” by Paul Simon

Photo by Elissa Hemauer

You gotta have something to smear that wonderful cream cheese on to…

This is actually my wife’s recipe (as well as her beautiful photo above).  This was her first attempt at bagels and a very successful first attempt at that. These, like most bagels, are best toasted and smeared with butter or cream cheese.

Ingredients:

4 cups bread flour
1 tablespoon sugar
11/2 teaspoons salt
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 package instant yeast
1 ¼-1 ½ cup warm water (110-120° F)

For egg wash:
1 egg

Directions:

1.    Mix all of the ingredients in a bowl (minus egg wash)
2.    The dough should feel stiff but not extra stiff, add more water if extra stiff or if the mix is not taking all of the flour
3.    Knead for 10 minutes until uniform and smooth
4.    Cut the dough into 10 equal size balls
5.    Cover with damp, clean dish cloth and let rest for 30 minutes
6.    Take each ball, poke a hole in the middle and spread dough to make a 11/2 inch hole in the middle and a doughnut shape
7.    Cover dough again and let rise for 20 minutes
8.    Meanwhile, bring a large pot of water and 1 tablespoon of baking soda to a boil and preheat oven to 425° F
9.    Working four at a time, place bagels in boiling water boil for two minute and flip, then boil for one more minute
10.    Using a spatula, remove the bagels from the water and place on a towel to dry off
***Now would be the time to add toppings (sesame seeds, onion flakes, cheese, etc.)
11.    Place bagels on a parchment lined baking sheet brush with a beaten egg yolk
12.    Bake for 10 minutes and flip, bake for an additional 10 minutes

lemon, dill, and caper cream cheese

He ended up like so many of ‘em do

Back in the streets of New York City

In a soup queue, a dope fiend, a slave

Then prison, then the mad house

Then the grave, oh, poor Larry

But what do we really know of the dead

And who actually cares?

“Dig, Lazarus, Dig!” by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

This compound cream cheese recipe is really meant for the gravlax that I made earlier this week. I thought it would be good to create a recipe that would incorporate all of the traditional lox breakfast accoutrements inside of the cream cheese. I don’t know about you, but it really pisses me off when I bite into my lox and have capers rolling all over my plate and onto the floor. Have I mentioned that I am not that graceful?

Now that we have the cream cheese taken care of, what the hell are we going to spread this stuff on? Don’t worry, the bagel recipe will be coming up in a few days…

Ingredients:

8 oz brick of cream cheese
2 tablespoons fresh dill, minced
1 lemon, zested
¼ cup of capers chopped
¼ teaspoons black pepper

Directions:

1.    Soften the cream cheese with a fork
2.    Add all of the ingredients
3.    Serve on a bagel with those tasty gravlax

cornmeal blinis with gravlax and chive lemon crème fraîche

He’s a man obsessed

He couldn’t be a lover so now he’s a pest

He played the game but he failed the test

He’s a man obsessed

He’s a pest

“Man Obsessed” by Daniel Johnston

Another recipe from the CIA…

Can’t find crème fraîche? Make your own! Just combine two cups of milk with two tablespoons of buttermilk. Cover with plastic wrap and leave it sit out over night, this mixture will last a couple of weeks in the fridge.  The blinis can be frozen on parchment, in a freezer bag, they last about six months.

Ingredients:

½ cup crème fraîche
1 tablespoon lemon zest
2 tablespoons chives, minced
1.5 oz. flour
2 tablespoons fine-ground yellow corn meal
½ cup milk
1 large egg yolk
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper
1 large egg white
4 oz. gravlax, thinly sliced

Directions:

1.    Combine chives, crème fraîche, and lemon zest in a small bowl, season with salt and pepper, cover and refrigerate
2.    Combine the cornmeal and the flour in a bowl, mix well
3.    Add milk and egg yolk to the flour/cornmeal until combined, season with salt and pepper
4.    Beat egg white until it reaches soft peaks
5.    Gently fold the egg whites into the corn meal mixture
6.    Heat a large sauté pan over medium high heat, coat with olive oil and heat until hot
7.    Spoon about 1 tablespoon of batter into the pan and cook until the edges set
8.    Flip and cook for about one more minute and transfer to a paper towel to cool
9.    Top blini with crème fraîche mixture and a rolled up slice of gravlax, garnish with two small sticks of chives

gravlax

Well, that’ll be the day, when you say goodbye

Yes, that’ll be the day, when you make me cry

You say you’re gonna leave, you know it’s a lie

Cause that’ll be the day when I die

“That’ll Be The Day” by Buddy Holly

Gravlax is a cured salmon dish that is most commonly found in the Scandinavian countries of Northern Europe.  While recipes differ, they usually have some combination of salmon, salt, sugar, and dill.  I got the inspiration for creating gravlax (and the recipe) from my February trip to the Culinary Institute of America.  The biggest obstacle for not creating this sooner was getting my hands on the Aquavit.  Aquavit is a Scandinavian liquor made from potatoes and seasoned with caraway, anise, dill, and coriander.  Be brave and try this recipe, most of the challenge is the waiting.  When you get to the flipping stage, I would suggest flipping in the morning after breakfast and the evening before bed time, which is roughly 12 hours, that way there will be no neglected salmon in your life.

Ingredients:

Cheesecloth
1 whole salmon fillet, pin bones removed (usually about 30 per large fillet)
¾ cup brown sugar
1 cup kosher salt
4 tablespoons Aquavit
Dill fronds as needed
2 lemons, zested
1 orange, zested
2 tablespoons caraway seeds, toasted and cracked

Directions:

1.    Lightly score skin of the fish about one inch apart
2.    Place a wire cooling rack inside a 9×13 pan, line the rack with enough cheesecloth that can be wrapped around the salmon
3.    Mix sugar, salt, caraway seeds, Aquavit, orange and lemon zest, place half of the mixture evenly on the cheesecloth into a shape just larger than the salmon
4.    Lay dill fronds on top of the salt mixture
5.    Place the salmon on top, flesh side down
6.    Cover the skin and exposed sides with the remaining salt mixture and more dill
7.    Fold the cheesecloth over the top to form a tight package, cover with plastic wrap
8.    Place at least 15 pounds of weights (large canned goods work well), refrigerate for 24 hours
9.    Unwrap the salmon from the cheesecloth, remove the wire rack and scrape any leftover salt mix/dill into the brine and rewrap the salmon into the cheesecloth
10.    Lay the wrapped salmon into the brine in the pan flesh side down, cover with plastic wrap and re-weight
11.    Refrigerate for three more days, flipping the fish every 12 hours
12.    Remove the salmon from the brine and rinse off any residual dill or brine with cool water
13.    Wrap the salmon tightly and refrigerate until ready to serve
14.    Salmon lasts up to a month or can be frozen

potato chips

She put nine hundred dollars on the fifth horse in the sixth race

I think its name is Chips Ahoy!

It came in six lengths ahead, we spent the whole next week getting high

At first i thought that she hit off some tip that she got from some other boy

We were overjoyed

“Chips Ahoy!” by The Hold Steady

The best thing about making your own potato chips is that you can control how cooked (or not) they are.  As you probably can tell, these do not look like the lightly fried chips you might remember from summer picnics, these are well done and have much more intense flavor.  I kept the chips pretty simple because it was my first attempt.  Obviously, the possibilities are limitless for creating your own special variations (I’m thinking cracked black pepper, chili powder and lime, etc.). It is of paramount importance that you season the chips immediately after they exit the oil bath.

A mandolin for slicing the chips and a spider for removing them from the hot oil is not necessary but does help immensely…

Ingredients:

Russet potatoes, peeled and thinly sliced with a mandolin (or very carefully with a knife)
Kosher salt
Vegetable oil

Directions:

1. In a medium pot, place in oil until it reaches about halfway up the side
2. Heat oil to about 375° F
3. Place in a layer of potatoes and cook to desired color (2-4 minutes)
4. Remove from oil and immediately sprinkle with salt

thanks michael

When you come near to me

I go away

What is not clear for me

I go away

What is not here for me

I go away, I go away, I go away

“When” by Vincent Gallo

These beautiful macarons were delivered courtesy of my good friend Michael Wolf.  Mike had recently ventured to Europe and went through the pain-in-the-ass process of bringing these back to the states and then mailing them to me.  While they were slightly crumbled, they still tasted wonderful.  I couldn’t imagine what these babies were like straight out of the boulangerie.

Thanks Mike, see you at Christmas!

red beans and rice

On the way back home we sang a song

But our throats were getting dry

Then we saw the man from across the road

With the sunshine in his eyes

Well he lived all alone in his own little home

With a great big gallon jar

There were bottles too, one for me and you

And he said hey there you are

“And It Stoned Me” by Van Morrison

Growing up, the cold weather favorite for my family was always chili.  The weather would start to really cool down in Wisconsin in late October/early November and my mom would whip up a huge pot of ground beef chili with loads of beans.  While chili still holds a large spot in my heart, red beans and rice now replaces all of my cold weather, belly-warming needs.  Don’t go nuts with the salt and hot sauce until the end, the simmering will concentrate the flavors and give you a stupid hot and salty steaming bowl of crap…nobody wants a steaming bowl of crap.

Ingredients:

Red bell pepper, chopped
3 cloves of garlic, minced
2 ribs of celery, chopped
1 large red onion, chopped
2 cans red kidney beans, drained but not rinsed
2 ½ cups chicken stock
1 cup long grain white rice
½ pound precooked andouille sausage cut into ¼-1/2” pieces
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 tablespoons butter
1 teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon black pepper
1 tablespoon Franks Red Hot Sauce

Directions:

1.    Heat olive oil over medium high heat, sauté sausage until dark brown
2.    Add vegetables, sauté until tender
3.    Add kidney beans, salt, pepper, onion powder, hot sauce, simmer over low heat
4.    Meanwhile, start rice, bring stock to a boil in a separate small pot, add rice and butter, cover and cook for 20 minutes
5.    Add cooked rice to vegetable bean mixture
6.    Adjust seasonings if necessary