beer can smoked chicken

Cried all night ’til there was nothin’ more

What use am I as a heap on the floor?

Human Devotion but its just no good

Taking it hard just like you know I would

“Sentimental Heart” by She and Him

Those of you with a keen eye might notice that these birds are wingless. No, it’s not a crazy genetically modified super creature, it is the result of an impatient cook. If you have a smoker you should try this. If you don’t have a smoker, you should buy one.

Ingredients:

2 (4 lb.) whole chickens
2 cans of beer, rinsed with soap and water
Barbecue rub

Directions:

1. Open beers and drink half of the beer from each can, add one additional hole to the top of the can
2. Remove neck and giblets, rinse the bird with water and pat dry with paper towel
3. Trim fat from bird, and tuck wings so they don’t burn during cooking
4. Liberally sprinkle the rub on the inside and the outside of the bird
5. Place chicken cavity on top of beer as far possible, position legs to form a tripod
6. Prepare smoker by using the Minion method (except only fill the smoker ½ way with unlit charcoal), heat to 225-250 F, add mild smoke wood (like apple, cherry, or oak)
7. Smoke chickens for 3 ½- 4 hours, until it reaches 160 F in the breast
8. Remove from beer can and serve

i made bon appetit (website)!

Oh lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz

My friends all drive Porches, I must make amends

Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends

So, oh lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz

“Mercedes Benz” by Janis Joplin

No, not the magazine…still pretty cool though. Check it out here.

crunchy pork chops

Go down yonder Gabriel

Put your foot on the land and sea

Now blow your trumpet boy until you hear from me

There ain’t no grave gonna hold my body down

There ain’t no grave gonna hold my body down

“Ain’t No Grave” by Johnny Cash

Another great America’s Test Kitchen recipe…

This made some of the juiciest, crunchiest boneless pork chops that I have ever had.  There are three secrets to creating a crunchy coating, the brine, the mustard/flour slurry and pre-baking the bread crumbs.  I’d imagine a similar recipe would be pretty awesome with fish too.

Ingredients:

1/4 cup salt
4 (8 oz.) boneless pork chops , about 3/4-1 inch thick
1/2 sourdough baguette, cut into 1 inch pieces
1 small shallot, minced
3 medium garlic cloves , minced
2 tablespoons oil oil
Black pepper
2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese
½ teaspoon minced fresh thyme leaves
2 tablespoons minced fresh parsley leaves
¼ cup plus 6 tablespoons all-purpose flour
3 large egg whites
3 tablespoons Dijon mustard

Directions:

1. Dissolve salt in 1 quart of water, place in a gallon-sized zip top bag, place in refrigerator for 30 minutes
2.Rinse chops with cold water and dry with paper towels
3. Preheat oven to 350 F
4. Meanwhile, pulse bread in food processor until coarsely ground (about 3 1/2 cups of crumbs)
5. Transfer crumbs to rimmed baking sheet, add shallot, garlic, oil, 1/4 teaspoon salt, and 1/4 teaspoon pepper, mix until evenly coated
6. Bake until golden brown, stirring occasionally
7. Let crumbs cool, mix with Parmesan, thyme, and parsley
8. Place 1/4 cup flour on a  plate
9. In another container, whisk egg whites and mustard until combined, add remaining 6 tablespoons flour and whisk
10. Heat oven to 425 F, spray wire rack with nonstick cooking spray and place in rimmed baking sheet
11. Season chops with pepper, dredge pork chop in flour, pat off extra flour
12. Then coat porkchops with egg mixture
13. Coat all sides of chop with bread crumb mixture
14. Place chop on a wire rack, repeat with remaining 3 chops
15. Bake until a thermometer reads 150 F, about 20-25 minutes, let rest 5 minutes before serving

caramalized cashews with cayenne and cumin seeds

You know the night time, darling

Is the right time to be with the one you love, now

Say now oh baby

When I come home baby, now

I wanna be with the one I love, now

“Night Time (Is The Right Time)” by Ray Charles

It’s alliteration time! Be sure to bake the cashews to a deep golden brown, it is important to give the cumin seeds a good toast. Sweet, savory, and spicy, these nuts make a great party snack.

Adapted from Bon Appetit Magazine

Ingredients:

Nonstick spray
2 cups lightly salted whole cashews
1/4 cup good maple syrup
1 1/2 teaspoons cumin seeds
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 F
2. Spray baking sheet sized piece of aluminum foil with nonstick spray, set aside
3. Spray a baking sheet with nonstick spray
4. In a small bowl, mix cashews, cumin seeds, salt, and cayenne
5. To that mix, stir in the maple syrup
6. Spread mixture evenly over baking sheet
7. Cook for 20 minutes or until golden brown, pour mixture over separate foil
8. Let cashews cool and then break up any clusters

beefy chili

They’re asking is it good or bad

It’s such an icy feeling, it’s so cold in Alaska,

It’s so cold in Alaska, it’s so cold in Alaska

“Stephanie Says” by The Velvet Underground

Yesterday was so beautiful, now this. It’s cold, it’s rainy, it’s crappy.  While we are nearing the end of the cold season in Northern California, it is supposed to be dreary all week.  I can’t think of a better thing to make in this weather than a nice hearty chili. This is my own invention, combining a Texas style red sauce with a non-Texas dose of beans. This recipe will definitely warm your belly.

Ingredients:

2 pounds boneless short ribs, cut into ½ inch pieces ()/any stew meat is fine)
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 tablespoon onion powder
8 oz. can tomato sauce
2 cups of water
5 tablespoons chili powder
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 tablespoon cumin
¼ teaspoon cayenne
½ teaspoon black pepper
1 tablespoon smoked paprika
16 oz. can pinto beans
½ can of beer

Directions:

1. (Working in two batches) In a large pot, heat 1 tablespoon of oil over high heat, add ½ of beef and ½ tablespoon onion powder, cook meat until browned
2. Remove beef and set aside
3. Add 1 tablespoon of vegetable oil, the second ½ of beef and ½ tablespoon of onion powder, cook meat until browned
4. Add reserved meat back to pot
5. Add tomato sauce and water, simmer, uncovered, for 20 minutes
6. Add 3 tablespoons chili powder, 1 teaspoon garlic powder, ½ tablespoon cumin, ¼ teaspoon cayenne, ½ teaspoon black pepper, simmer, uncovered, for 45 minutes
7. Add 2 tablespoons chili powder, 1 tablespoon smoked paprika, ½ tablespoon cumin, beans, and beer, simmer uncovered for 30 minutes

chocolate toffee cashew bars

Well they call me William The Pleaser

I sold opium, fireworks, and lead

Now I’m telling my troubles to strangers

When the shadows get long I’ll be dead

“Lucinda” by Tom Waits

I haven’t done any dessert lately, this lovely recipe comes from my wonderful mother. Have I told you lately how much she kicks ass??? She spent a week in our new home painting walls and ceilings from dusk til dawn.  Seriously, she got less rest during that week than a meth addict on a glass binge. And just like meth…

WARNING: these dessert bars are highly addictive and withdrawals may cause fits of rage, insomnia, and uncontrollable movements.

Makes three dozen bars

Ingredients:

2 (8 oz.) can Pillsbury Refrigerated Quick Crescent Dinner Rolls
1 1/3 cup butter
1 cup firmly packed brown sugar
2 cups salted cashew halves
1 1/2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 375° F
2. Unroll dough into 4 long rectangles, place on ungreased jelly roll pan
3. Spread out dough with your fingers over the bottom to form crust, sealing perforations
4. In a small saucepan, combine butter and brown sugar, boil for 1 minute.
5. Pour evenly mixture evenly over dough
6. Sprinkle with nuts
7. Bake for 14 to 18 minutes or until golden brown
8. Remove from the oven and immediately sprinkle wtih chocolate chips
9. Swirl the chips as they melt, leaving some partially melted or whole
10. Cool completely on a wire rack
11. Cut into bars